Saturday, November 10, 2007

23 going 22...

As I have vowed in my previous entry dat i shall blog more religiously, I m posting another entry almost immediately! hehehehehehhe.... I noe, I noe, a bittttttttttttt of cheating.... bt a bit only mah... aniwei, wat counts is the number of posts wat!

Talking abt number of posts, my POST NO 51, entitled MANIS MANIS LEBARAN, is still not posted yet. n dis is like post no 53. heheheheh.... I promise to post it asap. u muz b wondering y m i nt posting it now. the ting is... i'm at werk on dis very gloomy and rainy sat morn. n the post is abt hari raya, if u havent get the drift. (so slow ah!) n i was halfway putting up pics. n the rest of the pics is in the pc at hm... so bear with me, n u'll get to c the pics soon. for those who cant wait to look at moi pretty faces during raya, please go to my friendster and facebook. if u noe me, u will noe my account. if u dun.... erm... well... get to me lah! i'm VERRRRRRYYYY interestingly boring, n boringly interesting!

FACEBOOK!
I LURVE FACEBOOK!
Shoutout to syidah (TP) for introducing me to it. Now i'm super hooked!
I look forward to fighting slayers, werewolves, vampires and zombies everyday
n den throw sheep at ppl,
n of coz, kick them!
I'm sadistic.
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH.

Before i digress any further, as i always do, lemme tell u abt the title of my entry today.

"23 going 22"

Question: What r u gonna do wen u have 23 months more to go?

Another question: What will u do, wen u noe, u only have 23 mths to go?

So tell me the answer. What should be done? Wat should i do? Should i start getting desperate, should i stay calm n let fate decide? Wat to do? Wat to do?

I've been on the roller coaster ride a gazillion times, ranging from, stay calm, be desperate, be devastated n crushed, be solemn, be straight faced n den desperate again.

It doesnt help that I'm planning a wedding now. The wedding of my dreams. Dreams. At least i get to see and experience it tho i'm nt the one getting married. At least i cn proudly say in the future, "how many of u have the chance to fulfill ur wedding dreams fully?"

I did.

Anyway, if i'm the bride, i will ruin the wedding. Along is perfect for my wedding dream i guess. Anyway, I'm always 'backstage', nvr the diva. If i become the diva, the whole status quo (n probly universe) will be thrown off-balance. So its fine.

N the wedding now is getting tooo near. Less den a week. LESS DEN A WEEK MY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED. FOR REAL. THE BAD NEWS: SHAHREIL IS OFFICIALLY MY BRO-IN-LAW. Thank god i've started referring to him as my bro-in-law after their ROMM. Konon2, nk get used to the idea lah. My sister n myself havent got the jitters yet. Nt juz yet. Tapi hari tu... ko tgk lah dier, ko tgklah aku. MAMPOZ!

Bt deeeeeeeeeeepppppppppp down, I know. I know that i'm a very sad n a lil bit disappointed that the wedding dreams haf to be handed over to along. I know she loves my dreams, well, i'm known for my great ideas! so i ges this shall be my wedding gift to her. (after all the services is for free!) i'm more saddened by the mere thought of how this will nvr happen to me. I will nvr be wat ppl always say "blissfully in love, blissfully married" BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Everytime I attend a wedding, or watch a wedding (ones ard my hse), I'm so happy for them... and then i get sad.... coz i cn seriously feel that that is soooooooooo far away from me... n is getting further away from me...

TRUTH: I've a confession. There's another reason y i make sure i'm in control of the wedding n everything haf to get my approval. Its coz, to me... this is MY wedding. AS IN MY WEDDING. I want it to b perfect the way i've always dreamt of it coz my friends will b there, n they cn actually see wat my wedding will look like, coz i noe it wun happen for real. so there u go. its my wedding, nt my marriage. bt we cnt b greedy rite? b thankful. i m thankful.

so now i'm preparing myself for the big day. the big day that i'll nvr get to experience. how? wat m i gonna do? how m i ever gonna be fully prepared for an emotional roller coaster ride like dat? how m i gonna kip a straight, sweet smiling face wen my heart's breaking, my head spinning, hating the ppl who always wanna budge in, panicking abt the minor2 tings, and running away from ppl who keep teasing me abt 'wen is gonna be ur turn'. ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I ges there's only one answer. The obvious one. The one one answer to all my problems over the years. The one ting i really know.

ITS SHOWTIME.

yup, showtime. like i always said: smile, i'm on candid camera, show must go on!

HAHA! Typical.

Time is running short for the wedding. Time is running short for me. So what will i do noeing i have 23 going to 22 more months to go?

I'll wait for fate to decide.

Meanwhile...

ITS SHOWTIME!

Posted by DiStUrBeD AnGeL at 9:04 AM